Friday, 10 June 2016

Tythonian Abuse!

A few days ago, we were contacted by a Padawan named Matare. He had some truly disturbing information for us so we had no other choice but visit Tython and investigate.


Tython - We travelled to Tython and arranged an interview with Matare to collect more details on the whole scandal. Matare claims that Padawans are continuously abused and bullied by Jedi Masters. Here is a transcript of certain bits from our interview:

Journalist: "So what you're saying is that you're forced to carry out menial tasks while your masters play drinking games in the Temple cantina?"
Matare: "Exactly. Man, those guys are wicked! I can't catch a break!"
Journalist: "I though performing these tasks was a common part of Jedi training..."
Matare: "Yeah, I guess. But I can't wait to get this over with, become a real deal badass Jedi and stop caring about other stuff all the force-damn time.
Journalist: "But isn't caring about others and serving them the true Jedi way?"
Matare: "Oh man!"

"We're forced to do their dirty work while they're drinking their faces off in the cantina!"

We also scheduled an appointment with Matare's master, Kaldona, to ask him about his opinion on the whole matter. Here is a transcript of our short conversation:

Journalist: "Excuse me, master Jedi. Do you have a moment for a short interview?
Kaldona: "Greetings, traveller...*hic* What is it that you seek?
Journalist: "Umm, we've heard rumours about Jedi masters mistreating some of the padawans..."
Kaldona: "Well, those rumours are entirely untrue, of course. We would.. *hic* we would never stoop to such behaviour, I can assure you."
Journalist: "Master Jedi, is that licquor on your breath?
Kaldona: "May the Force be *hic* you, traveller!"

"We would never stoop to such behaviour."

Unfortunately, we were not allowed inside the Jedi Temple for "security reasons", so we couldn't check the situation in the local cantina. We asked several other Jedi Masters who were outside the temple but all of them denied knowing of any abusive behaviour. We will have to take their word for it.

Let us know what you think! Do Jedi have a tendency to boss people around? And what about drinking problems?



The transcript of the original in-game conversation between Kaldona and Matare (fully voiced in-game):



Wednesday, 8 June 2016

Update: The Deal Has Been Sealed

We are pleased to announce that we have agreed to terms with one of our potential investors and the credits are flowing in as we speak. The investor promised us freedom of word with only minor restrictions so we should be able to avoid bias. Unfortunately, we cannot reveal much about our investor's identity, only that he used to be involved in military business and is now focusing on "private matters".

What is important for us is that we are now able to improve our digital equipment which should result in pictures of much higher quality. And this is what we are all about!


Monday, 6 June 2016

Update: External Audit and Threats

We just wanted to let you know that we have recently had an external audit. Our visitors were particularly interested in the quality of our photos and pointed out that in no way are those within Republic standards. It has become our priority now to deliver on our promise to improve the visual aspect of our project. We are already in contact with a potential investor and expect a deal in place any day now.

We have also been threatened by certain individuals who claimed that our remark regarding the Zakuul invasion was "beyond heresy" and that we "would be purged by any means necessary". Rest assured that our resolve has never been stronger. Actually, we are currently working on an article on the conspiracy theory of Zakuul invasion.


Intriguing Intrigue

A senator's life is like that of a Rancor handler - you never know when you become fodder. In order to avoid that situation for as long as (in)humanly possible, you have to have a certain skill set. We had joined some of the Senate Plaza visitors and asked them about their take on political life.


Coruscant - Busy as usual, the plaza was full of beings of various species, so there were quite a lot of opportunities for us to enquire about a life of a politically involved person. Some beings gave us some unexpected, and highly disturbing, answers regarding how corrupt all the politicians are and that they do not listen to the voice of the majority. Others were complaining about "sucking up to the Eternal Throne", which seems rather bizarre if we consider that one can barely notice any changes since the alleged Zakuul conquest. Many still believe it to be a conspiracy, fabricated by rebellious juveniles.

 Some people decided to ignore us all together.

There was, however, a particular couple that caught our attention. A middle-aged Mirialan and her human female friend.

We accidentally overheard their discussion which was related to our enquiry and decided to ask them a few additional questions.

Journalist: "Thank you for taking your time to answer a few questions for us. How do you personally see the exciting life of a highly respected politician of the Republic?"
Senator's wife: "You know, it's all hard work. Most people don't see it, but you it's all about compromise. Hard work for little credits and nearly zero appreciation."
Journalist: "Do you have any political ambition?"
Senator's wife: "I'm merely a personal advisor to my husband. He's a pretty influential senator, you know. Making all the tough calls and stuff, all in day's work."
Journalist: "Based on what you said, your husband doesn't make that much credits. What do you do to keep the household running smooth?"
Senator's wife: "All kinds of things, you know. Helping my husband is pretty demanding so I don't have much time left for other things."
Journalist: "I see. Thank you again and I hope you'll make it through your difficult life situation."

Being a politician is hard work for little credits and nearly zero appreciation.

Our little survey revealed that Republic citizens have mixed opinions about politicians and are not always convinced by the sincerity. A lot of citizens see politicians as "parasites", one of the respondents even went an extra mile to come up with an insult that would realistically reflect his feelings toward politicians and said he "would take them all to Tatooine, let a Bantha herd trample them, then feed them to Womprats, then toss all the Womprats into a Sarlacc pit and finish it all off by throwing in some kind of a poisonous grenade," which he claimed to be a part of a heroic quest. Needless to say that this fellow looked like he was slowly losing it.

Let us know what you think! Is being a politician / senator a demanding job with unsatisfactory pay packet?




The transcript of the original in-game conversation of two Senator's Wife NPCs (fully voiced in-game):

Saturday, 4 June 2016

Tatooine Customer Scammed?

Recent reports have hinted that a certain Jawa has been selling faulty droids to unsuspecting customers. We travelled all the way to Tatooine to get to the bottom of this conspiracy and here is what we found!



Anchorhead  - Allegedly, a certain Jawa trader, who did not wish to be named, sold a faulty protocol droid to one of the locals. Overall, the droid seemed to be in a good shape, however, the buyer later discovered that the droid's vocabulator was not working.
"I find this unacceptable! It's outrageous! How come these little buggers are allowed to sell things to us, humans, in the first place!" grumbled the elderly man, who also did not wish to be named.

How come these little buggers are allowed to sell things to us, humans, in the first place!

We accompanied the buyer as he was going to face the Jawa trader to seek answers. Here is a transcript of our short interview with the Jawa trader. Note that we had to use our own protocol droid CNN-2 to interpret for us.

Journalist: "Good afternoon sir."
Jawa trader: "M'um m’aloo. Utto nye usabia atoonyoba?"
Journalist: "No thank you. We are here to ask you a few questions about a recent purchase from you."
Jawa trader: "Ny shootogawa!"
Journalist: "You don't have to be worried. We are unarmed. We just want to ask you a few things."
Jawa trader: "Gomjam."
When asked about the faulty droid, the Jawa trader told us that the droid was sold without a vocabulator which, according to him, was an intended feature. Regardless, the buyer claimed that a protocol droid without a vocabulator was a absolutely unacceptable and demanded a refund, which the Jawa trader refused. The whole situation ended with a lengthy 10-second tag until the elderly man ran out of air and had to sit down to recover.

A protocol droid without a vocabulator is a feature.

We had also tried to contact local authorities to get some official word on the matter but apparently there are none. Republic involvement on this planet seems to be very limited.

Let us know what you think! Is a protocol droid without a vocabulator a good buy?




The transcript of the original in-game conversation of the two NPCs (fully voiced in-game):

Customer: "Hey! The droid you sold me is a piece of junk! I want my money back!"
Jawa: "No refunds! You keep!"
Customer: "But it's busted! Stupid thing's vocabulator broke down as soon as I got home. Won't say a word now!"
Jawa: "Vocabulator not broken! Is feature!"
Customer: "A feature? Don't give me that! What good's a protocol droid if it can't even talk?"